So I realized the truth about myself today. It started in our Math and Literature class when I couldn't pay attention and was playing with math manipulatives. I had made a huge tower when it crashed and everyone looked at me. Not a big deal, but I had gone ballistic on a student about 4 hours before that for doing the same thing while I was teaching. Then I looked around and realized that I had spilled Diet Coke on my shirt, I had dropped a dry-erase marker on my pants, and I had actually STAPLED MY HAND a few hours earlier.
This is what lead me to my epiphany... I'm a moron.
Yes, I'm smart. I feel like I was raised to be an intelligent woman. But seriously, there is no correlation between my book-smarts and my self-smarts. Further evidence:
- I trip over EVERYTHING. One day I tripped over a student and actually gave him a bloody nose.
- I spill everything. My chest (which unfortunately sometimes counter-acts as a shelf) CONSTANTLY has food on it because I can't get it from my plate to my mouth.
-I say stupid things. No explanation needed. You all are aware of this.
-I STAPLED MY HAND TODAY.
-I lose things. One day before I left school I searched my classroom for about 5 minutes looking for my phone before I left. Oh, wait, I was TALKING ON MY PHONE.
-I don't think before I speak. While creating new jobs for my class this week I actually started to name one BORDER PATROL (to clean the outer edges of my room) when my class is 50% Mexican and probably are or have parents who are illegal.
-I signed up, and paid $100-ish for the PRAXIS test and then FORGOT to show up to take it. So I had to pay again.
-Most of my history at Snow College (Legacy 2 boys, the boys from Northern Idaho College, burning my lab partner, etc.)
-I get tangled up in my own feet while playing Dance Dance Revolution and actually fall over.
-I have managed to get a golf club SO LODGED in my bra while twirling it like a baton (and I was on a blind date) that it actually just swung there until I could stop laughing and pull it out. (Remember that, Ash??)
-I smacked myself in the eye with my work badge this week in front of a woman who already thinks I'm a moron and she couldn't stop laughing.
-I was cheering SO HARD as an Echelon at the (Granger? Maybe?) Football game that I punched myself in the face. Really, really hard.
I'm sure you all came to this realization, oh, about 10 minutes after meeting me, but I always thought I was super awesome. But today I was compared to a fairly incompetent fellow teacher and started thinking that I kind of struggle sometimes!
I even discussed this with my brother tonight who summed it up with his infinite wisdom:
Sometimes I'm such a COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS moron, it makes me kind of awesome.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sad, sorry truth...
Posted by Evan and Amanda Tolman at 11:39 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Okay, I was pure cracking up in class while I read this. So true, but you really are awesome. We all do stuff like that! But I kept reading that list waiting for the echelon cheer to make the list, and it did! :) And just so ya know, we would have done away with you a long time ago if we didn't love that stuff about you. You are my favorite!!!
And despite it all, you're still a god teachre.
I was laughing so hard reading this post! My particular favorite is the unfortunate instance of your chest becoming a shelf. I laughed OUT LOUD in my office!
Too funny Amanda! I do remember the golf club/ baton twirling. Good times! I'm also happy that the echelon (punching yourself in the face) made the list. This is one of the many reasons why we love you!
Oh, my gosh. This is the funniest post ever. Border patrol! That is seriously the best! Oh, and s, sc, score!.... btw, I am still laughing about this post.
Post a Comment