My trials and tribulations...

I just want to preface this by saying that I think Relief Society in a student ward is great. I love that the lessons aren't "Teaching your Children" every week, which is the schedule in my home ward. I love that it's single women in the Church all in roughly the same phase of life teaching and helping each other. I think it's great.

HOWEVER

When you have lessons on "Dating and the Eternal Perspective" things get a little (lot) irritating.

I seem to have an older ward. I think I'm on the younger end. So they start talking about keeping an Eternal perspective and getting married on the Lord's time, which is all good advice and they had some great quotes to back it up. Then women start making comments.

Wow. They were along the lines of:

"I know all of us are thinking we're not married because we're fat and ugly and there's something wrong with us."

(Um... Actually no, I don't think that. Not even a little bit.)

"I needed that little ray of hope that there really might be someone out there for me."

(Seriously?? You're that worried??)

"We need to make ourselves better so that we can find more perfect men."

(So bettering yourself has nothing to do with you and your own life and goals, but it has to do with finding someone better.)

And my personal favorite...
"I feel like I've been given this trial for a reason."

HONESTLY?? Since when did being single become a TRIAL? When most people talk about getting trials for a reason they're meaning terminal illness. Or tragic accidents. But BEING SINGLE?? How is that a trial?

I don't think there is anything wrong with being single and I get frustrated that whatever Utah or LDS culture (probably just "Utah Mormon" culture) says that there is something wrong with you if you aren't married by 25 or 23 or whatever. No where else will you find females who are thinking it's a burden to not be married in their early or mid 20's. Life isn't over! There is so much to do! Keep going to school! Travel! That's stuff that may not happen when you get older. LIVE IT UP!

I also struggle with this idea that the reason we need to better ourselves is to find a better husband. I hate that women feel like their whole identity is with a husband. That their worth is centered around what kind of husband they get. Give me a break!

I don't know if it's because of how I was raised or what, but I have never once felt that being single is a trial. I am really happy in my life right now and I've had some amazing experiences that I don't think I ever would have had if I would have married early. I feel pity for women who feel that way because there are so many doors open for single intelligent women that weren't there 50 years ago. Or even 20 years ago!

I just couldn't stop laughing at the "Trial for a reason" comment. Oh goodness. Never a dull moment in the student ward!